Chapter 4: It’s not easy to get what you want

050 “He’s a nice guy though” is the beginning of unrequited love

This is just an excuse to turn someone down, and is a word used to avoid being treated like the bad guy. First of all, people are weak to things they don’t have. If you hear the phrase “a nice person who does everything you want,” it may sound like the ideal lover. For example, if you say “I want to see you” after work, he will rush over right away, and if you call him, he will happily answer. Even if you behave in a way that is generally considered to be well-liked, it won’t resonate with the other person.

In order to create the situation that the other person desires, you need a strategy of making them impatient by not doing things that they might be happy with or that they might feel good about if you do them. If you are desperate to like someone, you may act in a way that satisfies their need for approval, but have you ever been rewarded for doing so? In reality, it probably isn’t very rewarding.

People tend to chase after people whose thoughts they can’t predict, rather than people who they know will make them feel safe. We often hear stories of people who charm others with their looks and steal their hearts with tactics and clever words, but in many cases, this is because they just want an excuse not to leave the person they like, even if they don’t get the attention of the other person. On the other hand, this means that they are weak to the cunning that makes them make excuses like this, that is, the opposite of a “nice guy.”

Unfortunately, it’s not the “nice person” that is rewarded. To be a “nice person” who meets all of their demands is far from the goal.

051 Before dating, subtraction. After dating, addition.

I recommend a relationship where a girl nurtures her boyfriend as if he were her lover. I think this is probably the ideal form of love.

For example, if you are late for a date, you can make them apologize by saying “I’m sorry.” It’s also okay to say, “Please pay for everything on today’s date.” In some cases, it’s okay to confiscate something that should be with the other person by saying, “I don’t have…”

Furthermore, if your partner keeps looking at their smartphone while you are waiting for the food to arrive, you can tell them, “Hey, put your smartphone away.” The important thing is to evaluate them in a positive way (accumulating good points) rather than a negative way (pointing out their faults).

Before you lament, “He was so nice to me when we first started dating…”, be patient and fix the parts of your partner that you don’t like. Before you know it, you’ll find that you can add more points to your partner’s life, and he’ll want to be with you forever. As your relationship deepens in this way, good things will happen to both of you.

Of course, if you say something to others, you should always behave morally so that you don’t get criticized by others.

052 Correct usage of “push and pull”

In love, the “pursuer” is in a lower position, and the “pursued” has the final say on whether to date, so the “pursued” naturally takes the higher position. In other words, it’s very important which position you take. There’s nothing wrong with starting out as the pursuer, but that’s when it’s time to use my special technique, “push and pull.”

If the person you are interested in is not showing any interest at all, first approach them proactively and draw out a certain level of interest in you by saying “something’s coming.” Then, by deliberately withdrawing afterwards, you can make them feel anxious that “there may be no one left who likes me,” and as a result, make them pursue you of their own accord. For example, if you feel like the other person is just playing around with you, it would be effective to make a move like “I’ve recently found a new serious crush.”

Also, even if you confess once and fail, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over at that point. Instead of immediately walking away, give the other person some space, then clearly back off and show them that you are willing to move on to a relationship with someone else. This is my theory. I believe that love is a game where you can win if you make them chase you. If you find yourself in a desperate situation, calmly plan a strategy and execute it calmly.

[Points to remember when “pulling”]

In the “push and pull” technique, which is often used as a love technique, “pull” does not mean simply cutting off contact. The important thing is to make the other person feel anxious that “they might go away.” There must have been a time when it was okay to act suggestively, thinking “they must be crazy about me because they confessed to me,” but for someone who has had a successful experience with that, it will only make them feel anxious and make them chase you. For example, after confessing and being rejected, continue to appeal to them that you like them for about a month. This is to give them a bigger shock later on. After a month has passed, it’s a good idea to hint at the existence of another “good person” on Instagram stories, etc. The ideal thing is to show a photo of a meal, with a glimpse of the person’s shirt or hands in the photo. This will give the other person the illusion that “that girl is nice,” and they may gradually start looking at Instagram more frequently. Of course, unless you have information that proves that he is definitely dating someone else, you can’t guarantee that he will actually make a move, but if he seems like he might run away, your only option will be to pursue him.

This technique can be applied outside of social media as well. It is also effective to have a third party between you and the person you like say, “You seem to be getting along well with ___ lately.” Either way, it’s hard to get what you want unless you do it in a sneaky way.

[Keep your poker face]

When practicing “push and pull,” there is one rule that must be followed. That is, do not let the other person know your true feelings (that is, your feelings of love). If you maintain this attitude, even if you confess and get rejected, it will be effective when you try again. Even if the other person invites you out when you pull back, you can be unsettled by responding that you are no longer interested. As a result, you will be able to create a situation where flirtatious words will not work.

[An opponent where “push and pull” doesn’t work]

Please note that this “push and pull” strategy will not work on someone who already understands this technique. It is very important to carefully determine what kind of person the other person is. You need to check each time whether they are the type of person who has a lot of romantic experience and “push and pull” does not work on them, or whether this technique has made them feel for you. Also, if you already have a “troublesome partner” or are obsessed with other things such as work that you cannot give up, it will be difficult to succeed in “push and pull”. If your partner does not let you leave, or if you are in a state of being tied to them out of necessity, you may be “kept waiting” for a long time.

In this way, a strategy that suits the situation and a calm judgment are the keys that make a big difference in love. By hiding your true feelings well and giving the other person the right stimulation and anxiety, love is not necessarily one-sided, and you may be the one being pursued.

053 How to Assemble Love

The trick to getting closer to someone you like is to keep telling them what you think they want to hear, at a moderate frequency. Even if they don’t show much interest in you, and it’s unclear whether they really like you, they’ll still give you sweet words and actions (= “candy”) – I think that’s the strongest relationship.

[Appropriate amount]If you are too obvious about wanting to be liked by the other person, it can become a convenient relationship. It’s best to feel like, “He doesn’t say he likes me, but he acts like he does to someone he likes…” In other words, you want him to be able to act flirtatious. If you are already suffering from flirtatious behavior from someone, perhaps the outcome of your love will change if you become the one to cause trouble to the other person.

If you give someone a sweet treat (candy) until they’re full, they won’t feel its appeal anymore. It’s a living being’s instinct to make them want to eat more and be praised again without being too appealing.

For example, flirtatious lines include “It’s really fun to be with you” or “I’ve been really stressed lately, so this is the first time I’ve felt at ease in a long time.” In the extreme, anything other than “I like you” is enough. Also, if you have a chance to go out together, it’s effective to ask “What are you going to wear tomorrow?” or “What color clothes are you planning to wear?” and after receiving the other person’s answer, reply “Well, maybe I’ll wear the same color.”

Don’t be too interested in the things you likeThe method of “knowing what the person you like is interested in and having common topics to talk about” is often introduced as a way to close the gap, but it is very important not to misjudge the distance. For example, if you hear someone say, “I like this movie,” and you take a long time to report, “I saw the movie you said you liked the other day!”, the other person will realize that “You are really interested.” Rather, for light reading material like manga, a simple response like “I happened to see a preview, so I read one chapter” is enough. If you let your feelings of liking take precedence and try to appeal to the effort of reading, it will become a burden on the other hand. In fact, it is better not to appeal in that way.

[Body touching is not permitted]When you go out together, please be gentle with your body contact. Even if he holds your hand, you can let go of it yourself. If you allow him to touch you before you start dating, he will be more likely to think, “How much can I get for free?” Even if you are able to hold hands, if you take the relationship beyond that, the reason to date him will disappear. Make sure not to give him any unnecessary success experiences.

Ideally, you should even take the initiative and hold hands. If you can make the other person feel like they’re being manipulated, you’ll have a chance to win. For example, if the other person occasionally touches you, but doesn’t allow you to touch them, that’s just the right distance.

054 Cat

If you are contacting someone with the intention of building a good relationship or dating them, it is better not to send empty (empty) messages. If you continue to exchange meaningless messages without a clear purpose or aim, the conversation will quickly become stale and an unnatural hierarchical relationship may develop between you and the other person. This will cause you to underestimate yourself more than necessary and over-praise the other person. Therefore, first of all, you should stop forcing yourself down.

As part of this, if the conversation doesn’t go well with a direct message, you can stop it at your discretion. Then, when you feel like starting a conversation, just send a simple message like “Are you free?” to get the conversation started. Don’t be afraid of this method. Even if you feel uneasy, it’s important to try not to let the other person know that you’re feeling that way.

In love, the pursuer is like a cat, who chases after a toy that disappears or appears out of nowhere. You too can be confident and pursue your partner in a way that will lead them astray.

However, if you have a specific purpose for the messages you’re sending, or if you want to maintain a purely friendly relationship rather than a romantic one, there’s no problem with continuing to contact them. Think carefully about your future plans and choose the method that’s best for you.

055 How to avoid a relationship of convenience

For those who can’t say with confidence, “It’s a masterpiece that I want to watch over and over again.” If you have had a physical relationship with someone you’re not dating, and you’re serious about wanting to be in a relationship, there’s only one way left. That is, just keep making a positive move on the other person.

For that reason, there is a minimum of personal information you should have before you start a relationship, such as where their family lives, where they live, where they work, mutual friends, etc. If you don’t want the bad reputation of them abandoning you for a “physical relationship” (which is true), you should use your social credibility and information as a shield to protect yourself.

Once you have the necessary information, all that remains is to exert your will on the other person. You can strongly insist that they take responsibility for their actions. If they say that they didn’t mean to do so, press them and ask, “If the bully says that they didn’t mean to bully, does that settle it?” You need the strength to make a strong statement.

If there is someone you really want to date and start a physical relationship with, I think you need to master this method of asserting yourself.

056 The only love that isn’t a transfer is first love

A relationship that isn’t a transfer is actually like a first love. You can either date someone who likes you, or date someone you like.

In the world, there are often two-choice debates, such as “money or love” or “face or personality,” but in reality, you can have both. When these are given too much attention, we tend to unconsciously think that we should only pursue one of them.

With this in mind, let’s think about whether to date “someone who likes me” or “someone I like.” First of all, rather than thinking about which person will make me happiest, I think it’s better to continue to pursue the person you like, and at the same time, make good use of the person who likes you to satisfy your self-esteem.

A pure-hearted person may think, “Is it okay to do something so cruel?”, but the world we live in is by no means kind. Even if you can’t completely manipulate someone, just knowing that you can use that means skillfully when necessary can make your heart lighter.

Also, by making yourself believe that it’s okay to use others for your own convenience, you will be able to understand the feelings of “flirtatious people.” You may feel guilty at first, but in any field, you can only take measures by jumping into an unknown world. There are many things you can’t understand unless you actually enter that world, such as entrance exams, sports, and music. So, I would like you to try the world of “flirtatious.” By doing so, you will be able to understand the true feelings hidden behind your actions that you have been hoping for.

Love requires a certain amount of experience and knowledge. If you don’t have the tools to conquer something, you will quickly lose. Instead of taking on the love that is right in front of you defenselessly, prepare yourself for a fulfilling love life five years from now.

You have to be comfortable being a little sneaky and dirty to get what you want, and that’s what people who are struggling in love should work on first.

057 How to effectively reveal your feelings

In many cases, letting the other person know that you like them is a negative thing. However, in some cases, letting the other person know that you like them can be a chance to make up for your mistakes if you use it well. Here are some tips on how to do so.

・People who are confident in their looks should take advantage of “Sukibare”Generally, in love, letting your feelings be known is viewed negatively, but for people who are confident in their looks, letting your feelings be known can become a weapon. If you think of love as a means of attack, then it is very important who makes the attack. Conversely, for people who are not confident in their looks, it is better not to let your feelings be known.

・Effective ways to let someone know you like themFirst, keep in mind that even if you’re not dating yet, there will be a moment when the other person realizes that “this person likes me.” At that moment, the other person will feel a little more at ease. However, if you just relax and think that you don’t need to date, it will be difficult to actually develop the relationship into a relationship. Therefore, it is effective to continue to actively express your feelings (letting them know that you like them) for the first month or so. If you casually show that you are in a relationship with someone else at the moment when the other person feels completely at ease, they will be surprised and think, “Maybe you actually like me?” and may quickly turn their attention back to you.

058 The illusion of flirtation

I often receive consultations from people who are troubled by the fact that their partner has flirted with them and that this has caused them to have expectations. Let’s take a moment to clarify what flirting is.

For example, you buy a cake that you think looks delicious. Now imagine that you are standing in front of a delicious looking cake shop. There are various cakes lined up in front of the store, such as shortcake, strawberry tart, chocolate cake, apple pie, etc. You choose a cake that you like from the list, but when you get home and start eating it out of the box, you may feel that it is not tasty at all. The sponge covered with cream is dry, and the strawberries are not as sweet as you expected.

At this point, you might be tempted to say, “I bought it because I thought it looked delicious, but I was tricked!” However, it was you who actually expected it to look delicious and wanted the cake. In most cases, people don’t go into a store and yell, “I was tricked!” They simply feel that it didn’t suit them and won’t buy it again. However, when it comes to someone you like, you somehow end up feeling that you were “tricked.”

Let’s consider another example. Suppose someone asks you to lend them money, and you lend them 500,000 yen as a favor. A month later, when they ask you, “Hey, when are you going to pay me back?”, you’ll realize that they have no intention of paying you back. If you press them further, they’ll reply, “Hmm, I don’t know. It’ll probably take a little longer.” Nevertheless, if someone answers, “I don’t know,” when you ask them, “Do you like me?”, you’ll probably feel that their behavior is flirtatious. Is this really flirtatious behavior? Rather, you might want to consider that maybe you have too much of an imagination.

Also, there are a lot of people who think, “I can’t help it because I love him,” or “I know I should get out of here but I can’t,” but in reality, it’s just pathetic people who feel this way. Why is it that people who can make their own decisions about cake and money can’t make their own decisions about love? I find that point strange.

If you read this article and think, “Maybe that’s the same for me…”, you still have a chance to turn things around. Even now, throw away your illusions about flirting. If you do that, a good relationship will surely be waiting for you. On the other hand, if you think, “I’m different,” you can immerse yourself in that relationship. However, please do not ask others for love advice. This is because love problems are problems that have no answers when viewed from the perspective of those around you.

Also, if you date someone who is not interested, the outcome will be bad. Even if you are able to start a relationship, it is not that you “initiated a relationship” but rather that “the other person asked you to date them.” Your position will never be equal to the other person, nor will it ever be higher. You will always remain in a lower position until the relationship ends. In such a situation, even a fight will not be possible. This is because the other person has a final resort of saying, “So, shall we break up?” Therefore, people who can say, “So, let’s break up,” will not choose to “ask for a relationship” in the first place.

059 If the person you like has a boyfriend, what are your options?

Even if the person you like already has someone else, there’s no need to give up right away. Many people worry that they have to give up because the person they like has a partner, but in reality, there is still a chance that you can become that person’s lover. In order to grab this chance, it is important to follow the following three rules, so be sure to practice them to win over the person you like.

1. Being a good friendIf you’re treating someone as a friend, your social media interactions should be of a content that you wouldn’t mind being seen by their partner. If you send explicit messages, your partner may become wary and ask you to stop contacting them. Keep your messages to the same content that you would send to a friend, and maintain appropriate boundaries.
2. Being a good advisorDon’t just be friends; build a relationship where the other person can talk to you freely. For example, the ideal relationship is one where you can give them appropriate advice when they express dissatisfaction with their partner. Many people find it difficult to talk to their family about their partner’s complaints, so a confidant with whom you can share the things you can’t say to either family or your partner will be someone special. If they vent their frustrations to you even once, you will likely be the first thing they remember in the future when they’re in trouble, and you will likely become a higher priority for them.
3. Being a good understanding personOnce you’ve built a strong enough relationship with him/her that you can confide in him/her, take it a step further. If he/she starts to tell you deeper details like fights with their family, rather than just complaining about their partner, it’s proof that he/she has opened up to you. If you try to respond with “I understand you,” he/she will gradually become fascinated with you.

It’s not easy to put these three rules into practice, but if you can achieve them, the other person will naturally come to you just by asking, “Hey, do you want to go somewhere?” People are attracted to people who understand them, and they want to rely on someone especially when they are hurt. Don’t rush or hurry, and build relationships carefully.

060 First come, first served

When the person you like overlaps with the person your friend likes, many people struggle with the decision of whether to prioritize friendship or romance. However, people who can’t get over this dilemma have one thing in common: they can’t decide what is truly important to them.

It’s like when a kid goes to a buffet for the first time and takes more food than they can eat. Once you’ve put a friendship dish on your plate, you can’t put it back on the platter because you know that’s not allowed by the rules. But deep down, you might want to throw away that friendship dish.

It’s natural to want to value both friendship and love, but since both have limitations, you can’t have both at the same time. In that case, you should choose what you really want to “eat” (what you want to cherish) first.

Just as you may realize after going to a buffet a few times that you always take a lot but can’t finish it all, you will gradually become clearer about how much you can tolerate, what your preferences are, and which relationships you want to cherish.

As a result, either friendship or love may be damaged, but you have to think that it’s okay. After many failures, you will decide on your own direction, such as “I don’t want to fight with my friends, so I’ll reduce the number of friends I have” or “I will never give in to the person my friend likes.”

Also, by checking what is left on your plate, you will become more conscious of what you leave behind and what you choose. When you are young, you often lack experience and do not know what you really want, but as you grow older, you will be able to choose only what you need, rather than trying to take everything right away.

061 There are different kinds of love

There are many different types of love. For example, if you become a couple with someone you’ve been friends with for a long time, you may no longer feel that excitement in your heart. Also, if you’re with someone who doesn’t make your heart flutter, you may not feel that you’re in love. People who think this way may be under the impression that love is only “a relationship that makes your heart flutter.” However, there are many other forms of love.

There are patterns where you start dating with a moderate amount of enthusiasm, where you turn the love you have for the time you have spent with the other person into the energy of the relationship, and where you naturally become lovers as an extension of a friendship. There are also cases where it is just a physical relationship and ends up being unrequited love, where you started dating because you were confessed to and had no reason to refuse, and cases where problems arise midway and it turns into a dependent relationship, and there are many other types.

If you have a strong will and are striving for your ideal romantic image, your choice should be respected. However, if your friends’ love stories and boastful posts on Instagram have planted the image that romance is a heart-throbbing experience in your mind, your love life will be easily influenced by others. In that case, you need to be aware that your love life is nothing more than a dream. In most cases, the future will not go according to plan.

Also, dating means involving the other person in your life, both physically and mentally. This is no exaggeration; your life can change dramatically depending on who you date and how you date them. If you look at your own experiences and the people around you, you should realize how important it is to choose the person you date. Since you are involving the other person’s life, you cannot have a relationship by simply imposing your ideals on them. Also, it is selfish to label a relationship as “the worst relationship” just because it did not turn out as you expected. If you unilaterally end the relationship, it may be traumatic for the other person.

But if you still can’t stop yourself from wanting to make your dream love come true, you only live once, so go ahead and give it a try, just the way you want it.

062 How to keep your lover from cheating when you go to a class reunion

This method is very simple. Book a place to stay near the venue your partner will be going to. First, find out the location of the first party in advance and get the information. Then, later on, tell them, “If we go to the second party, we’ll miss the last train, so let’s stay together.” If you have already booked a hotel for two people, we recommend picking them up by taxi and forcing them to hurry home by saying, “The taxi fare will go up, so hurry up!”

Class reunions are a great place to get excited. Even if you trust your partner, it’s best to take these precautions. By implementing this method, you can prevent cheating outside of the venue, avoid the risk by spending around 10,000 to 20,000 yen, and ease your anxiety.

Also, even if you get along with someone else at the venue, if you go to pick up your partner right away, you can prevent them from hiding any messages they may be sending you. I understand the opinion that “you can’t trust the people around your partner, not your partner,” but it’s not advisable to trust your partner 100% if they don’t come to relieve your anxiety themselves. If you’re feeling anxious, why not start by checking where your partner is going and looking for suitable accommodation?

063 Love that begins as friends

Some people think that “friends can’t become lovers” or “I might not feel excited even if we start dating.” However, if your heart is beating fast, you can consider romance to be a sign of luck. I don’t agree with the opinion that “I’ll give up because I can’t feel excited.” Rather, I feel that dating after building a certain level of friendship will lead to better results. Here are the reasons why.

1. Both parties can start dating naturally and without hesitation.
2. When you get into a relationship, you may fight more often than other couples.
3. You may discover new aspects of your partner that you didn’t notice before you started dating, or discover new problems within yourself.
4. Things that didn’t bother you when you were friends may become intolerable when you become a couple, and your partner will notice these things about you too.
5. If you honestly admit your mistakes, reflect on them, and make improvements, you will become an important person who can stay by your side for a long time, and a breakup will be less likely unless one of you betrays the other.

For example, point ② “fighting a lot” may seem negative at first glance. However, even long-time friends often fight, regardless of gender or position. It may seem negative in the short term, but if you think about it in terms of maintaining a long-term relationship, the evaluation is reversed.

Taking points 1 to 5 above into consideration, I think that a relationship in which you both cherish each other and can stay together for a long time is very rational and ideal.

What’s important in love isn’t just whether or not you feel excited, but to maintain honesty and sincerity. If you’ve read this far and feel like it’s true, then dating your close friend that you’re interested in right now is sure to work out. I recommend that you move the relationship forward without hesitation.

064 Things you should know while you’re young②

• The most important thing in love is self-branding.

• By including a QR code in your letter, you can differentiate it from others. We especially recommend creating a QR code using an audio file.

• There is nothing to be gained by checking other people’s “likes” section.

• The phrase “If we were the same age, I would have dated you” is a magic spell to take advantage of the other person.

• “There’s someone better out there” is just an excuse to break up, so don’t mistake it for a positive sign.

• If you want to determine whether someone is serious or not, you can usually get the idea by carefully observing their eye movements.

• Unfortunately, someone who refuses to make things clear in a relationship is not going to make you happy.

• If you say to yourself, “I’m a good person, even though people around me tend to misunderstand me,” you will definitely become unhappy. In reality, there is no such thing as a truly good person who is misunderstood.

• If you ask her to go out and she turns you down, there’s a good chance things won’t go well going forward, so it’s better to ask her out at an early stage and make your relationship clear.

065　Sense of Self-Affirmation

Self-esteem is a concept that indicates how much you can affirm yourself. If you feel that you have low self-esteem, first think about the cause and in what respects you feel low. Although high or low self-esteem can be ambiguous, we will define it numerically here to make it easier to understand.

• Very low self-esteem：0〜20
• I have a little low self-esteem：21〜40
• I don’t think much about self-esteem：41〜79
• High self-esteem：80〜90
• Very high self-esteem：91〜100

About people with high self-esteem

It is very rare for someone to have a self-esteem close to 100. This is because in order to strongly affirm one’s abilities, way of thinking, and way of life, one needs sufficient backing, such as achievements and the evaluation of others. It is not enough to simply believe in oneself; one needs to actually be praised by many people, achieve results, and approach a state of being flawless. However, such people hardly exist.

For example, even if you see someone around you who seems perfect with a self-esteem of 91-100, that person may be aiming even higher. In fact, many people feel that their current standing is around 70, and even if they are highly rated by others, they often tend to estimate themselves at around 80. In other words, there is a big gap between the impression of others and the person’s own self-evaluation.

Also, many people who don’t actually have any significant achievements only affirm themselves out of pride or stubbornness, and deep down they may actually be around 50. For this reason, the goal of “I want to be a person with high self-esteem” is very difficult to achieve if you take it literally. Rather, it may be easier to achieve if you say, “I want to be a person who doesn’t think much about self-esteem.”

People who don’t think much about self-esteem

Some characteristics of people who don’t think much about self-esteem are:

1. Don’t do anything that lowers your self-esteem.
2. You have not been told or treated in a way that lowers your self-esteem by those around you.
3. To begin with, I don’t really care about the concept of self-esteem.

In other words, 1 is someone who has control over their pride and stubbornness, 2 is someone who has not yet experienced any unfortunate events, and 3 is someone who, like me, is not overly concerned with appearance or reputation and is natural. For example, at one point, I released a video in which I had grown my hair long and hid one eye with my bangs, and viewers got the impression that I was a “wolf-like man with blond hair hiding one eye with his bangs,” and as a result, I was unable to cut my bangs, and even a year later, I was unable to escape that image. This is an example of someone who does not care much about self-esteem.

I don’t care too much about the evaluations I get from others or about myself, and instead I work hard every day creating content with the feeling that “it would be a waste not to do it because I’ve already received such high evaluations.” This kind of attitude is typical of someone who doesn’t care about self-esteem at all.

Also, people with low self-esteem often worry about their bone structure, the shape and size of their nose, skin problems, etc., but we don’t live for someone else, and we don’t need to be perfect to fit other people. We may have a desire to be fulfilled, realize our ideals, and be recognized by others, but are we really good enough people to be needed by someone? At least, I don’t feel like I’m living a life that I can be proud of. Perhaps it’s arrogant to wish for even a little fulfillment when I haven’t accomplished anything. If you have time to think about such things, wouldn’t it be better to think of topics for videos?

As I was writing, I actually started to feel that I was self-deprecating and had low self-esteem, but that may just be my imagination. My thought routine is to record the facts that happen in my daily life and to myself, analyze them, and then think about how I feel in the end. If you are aware that you have low self-esteem, I recommend you try this method.

066 Advantages

Your partner knows your good qualities best, and if you don’t have a partner, your pets know your good qualities best.

067 Epilogue

It can be hard to think about love so much. Love is always in fashion and tends to be considered something highbrow. Many people want love to be great, but in reality it may not be. When you fall in love with someone, you may hurt someone else in the process. It is difficult to accept that the feeling of love changes. Also, since your humanity is revealed by how far you pursue your own self-interest, you may feel that love is inherently painful.

That being said, you can live a good life without romance. However, romance is undoubtedly a valuable opportunity to grow as a person. From now on, try to observe not only the good but also the bad in people. I sincerely hope that your life will become richer.

Conclusion

I hope this book will change your perspective on love and your self-perception. I sincerely hope this will happen, sitting at home with my cat, and I think my cat hopes the same.

One last thing to note. Never be unnaturally confident. The knowledge you have gained from reading this far has only entered your head as temporary information, and has not yet been fully absorbed. If you do not try it out for yourself and find a method that suits you through trial and error, there will be no point in reading this book. That would be a great shame for me.

I put my heart into writing this book and I truly hope that you put it into practice. My cat next door seems to be telling me the same thing.

Those of you who tend to fall into self-satisfaction and think, “I’ve done so much for you,” should not be able to ignore the fact that I “worked really hard to write this.” Also, those of you who make unreasonable demands like, “I want you to be honest and not cheat on me,” would be unlikely to behave dishonestly without even reading this “Conclusion.”

According to the principle of karma, if you are someone who is going to be happy in love in the future, there is no way that you would treat someone badly at this point in time when you finish reading these love essays. There is no way that you would just ask for something without taking action yourself.

Do you understand how arrogant and bothersome the phrase “I’ve done so much for you” can be? Even if you do something for someone, you don’t necessarily get the same in return. In fact, in reality, it is overwhelmingly common that you don’t get anything in return. Even if you do something out of kindness, the other person may not feel it. Basically, it is best to think that doing things for others does not necessarily benefit them. Don’t forget that “doing things for others” is ultimately synonymous with “doing things for yourself.”

Well then, good luck.