90% of love success comes from “boyfriend analysis”

Contents

What is “love profiling” that has the power to make someone fall in love with you?
Chapter 1: You can tell what he thinks of you by the position he wants you to be in.
Chapter 2: Rules for getting closer to “the position he wants you to be”
Chapter 3: Value analysis to become his special woman
Chapter 4: How to move his heart and win his heart
Chapter 5: Bad behavior that makes him feel cold
Chapter 6: How to get back together with the guy you love
Chapter 7: To remain his one and only woman
Conclusion

What is “love profiling” that has the power to make someone fall in love with you?

how to know how he feels

You may be wondering how to make your boyfriend fall in love with you if he doesn’t look back at you. Or maybe she’s suffering because her boyfriend, who once loved her, has grown cold. Maybe you looked at a number of love manuals and information on the internet, tried your best on your own, but it didn’t work out and you ended up with this article. What is your favorite person thinking? How can I make him truly love you? In this article, I will tell you what the man you like is thinking and how you can make him truly love you.

The truth about love manuals

Is what is written in the love manual article correct? For example, some love manuals out there say things like this: Is this true? “If you devote yourself to a man, he will turn cold.” Is this true? It is true that there are a certain number of men who become cold when they are exhausted. She cleaned, did laundry, and cooked for him, but instead of taking good care of her, he prioritized work and play, and ended up leaving for another woman. Love manual articles say that it’s better to leave him alone and let him do his best, and there are reviews that say that if you do that, he will turn around. On the other hand, there are some men who are actually the exact opposite. It’s not mentioned in love manuals, but many men grow cold when women don’t do their best. Such a man will feel grateful to have her do the cleaning, laundry, and cooking for him, and by doing so, his love for her will deepen, and he will value her for doing so much for him.

mysterious woman effect

There is also other information on the internet written like this. “Keeping yourself a mystery to him will make him chase you.” It’s true that some men will become more interested in you if you make yourself mysterious in this way. On the other hand, some men have the opposite effect. For example, a man who has been cheated on by his ex-girlfriend. The more you hide and act mysterious, the more he will distrust you and leave you. The important thing is that all men are not the same. If all men thought and acted the same way, everything would work just like the love manual articles say, but that’s not the case. After all, if you follow the information in many love manuals and the internet, some people will succeed and others will not. “Then, how on earth should I treat him?” You may be confused. But don’t worry. In this article, I will tell you a method that can be applied only to you and the man you like. This is a method that allows you to analyze the only person in this world, analyze your relationship with him, and then know how you should interact with him. I call this love profiling.

What is love profiling?

Love profiling is a love-specific version of profiling. (Profiling is a method of examining a person’s actions and thoughts to infer what kind of person that person is, and is used in criminal investigations.)

Introduction of love consultant

Nice to meet you, my name is Amy Matsui. Thank you for choosing this article. I am a love consultant at Koiuni (Love University). To date, I have provided over 24,000 love consultations. I always put my whole heart and soul into listening to the client’s concerns, and by making full use of love profiling, I put myself in the shoes of him, as if I were possessed by him, and I have worked hard to make the client’s desired happiness come true. We have received happy reports from many of our clients, such as getting back together or getting married.

Voice of the consultant

AmyI was able to get back together because he did what the teacher told me to do, so I was able to deal with it without hesitation, and we were able to get back together. He was able to tell so much about his actions and words that it made me wonder if he had actually seen me somewhere. lol

You will analyze his personality very accurately and tell us specifically what words will resonate with him. It’s not just like a manual article, but it teaches me how to deal with it specifically for him, which is always really helpful.

What I think is amazing about Amy is her insight, memory, and ability to make instant decisions. From what he said at that time, I was able to predict what he was thinking and what his background was, and when I put it into practice exactly as he said, I was always surprised at how good the results were. He has come to respect me.

Amy predicted his actions and lines so well that I thought he was a psychic, and gave advice based on accurate analysis. Thanks to this, our relationship has recovered and we are now in touch every day! There is also talk of marriage.

When he refused to marry me, I consulted him. He analyzed what was holding me back from wanting to get married and told me what I could do to make him want to get married. After several months of hard work and advice from my teacher, he became interested in getting married and we are about to register!

The need for love profiling

Love profiling to understand not just men in general, but men themselves. Many of the love manuals in the world are written based on the author’s experience or focus only on the differences between men and women. And above all, they see all men as one group. Again, not all men are the same. Each person is different. And it will also change in your relationship. That’s why love profiling is necessary.

Effects of love profiling

By learning about love profiling, you’ll know how to do what the guy you like should do. Rather than understanding a man in general, you can get to know him deeply. It’s like getting his own strategy article. If you have a strategy article specifically for him that has the answers to what you should do to make him think you’re the “one and only woman”, your worries will disappear. Love profiling is not a manipulative or sleight-of-hand technique. This is the way to make the man you love the happiest in the world by understanding and interacting with him deeply. When he becomes the happiest person in the world, he will truly love you and you will become the happiest person in the world. Love profiling is a way to realize a happy love between two people. Let’s learn about love profiling together in this article.

Introduction

What is “love profiling” that has the power to make him fall in love with you?

Chapter 1

You can tell how he feels about you by the position he wants you to be in.
What position does he want you to be in?
There is a difference between wanting to date and having a physical relationship.
Diagnosis of where he wants you to be
What matters is his point of view
Column: Examples to understand where he wants you to be
Column: What to do when you feel sad

Chapter 2

Rules for getting him closer to where he wants you to be
Rule 1: Pretend to be a woman who is a little far away.
Rule 2: Adjust to his sense of time.
Column: How does a woman who is a little far away behave?

Chapter 3

Value analysis to become his special woman
What is values analysis?
Rule 3: Be close to his values
Analyze his hidden values that you can’t understand just by asking questions.
It is also important to know his unimportant values.
How far should I go with him?
Aim to be the one and only for him by combining values that match yours.
Values checkpoint
Column: Understanding his inability to do his best
Column: Dangerous lover filter because it is unconscious

Chapter 4

How to touch his heart and win his heart
Comfort is important for taking love to the next stage
Comfort check sheet
How to make him want to marry you
how to become lovers with him
Is there a pulse? No pulse? How to make him turn around
Who are the women who tend not to be liked?
What to do when nothing works no matter what you try
Column: What if he stops caring about you?
Column: Maiden, put on your iron pants!

Chapter 5

NG behavior that makes him feel cold
love temperature graph
Bad behavior can be avoided if you know about it.
How to tell him well and ask him for a favor
Practical notes on how to communicate
Column: How to get rid of your anger towards him in an instant
Column: Don’t use it as a love barometer! Don’t ask questions out of anxiety!

Chapter 6

How to get back together with the person you love
To maximize the chances of reconciliation
Essential elements for getting back together
The reason why we were able to get back together
your chances of getting back together
Diagnosis of possibility of reunion
Column: The reason for the breakup is a lie, common traps and how to deal with them
Column: Amy-style Masseage rules

Chapter 7

To remain his one and only woman
The position once obtained is not forever.
Essential elements of a happy love life
Achieving happy love using love profiling
to love him

Conclusion

Chapter 1: You can tell what he thinks of you by the position he wants you to be in.

Knowing what he thinks of you is the first step to making your love life successful. It is important to know where he wants you. “Position” here refers to personal space. Personal space is a measure of the distance at which you can get close to someone without making yourself uncomfortable, and it varies depending on the person. For example, if the person sitting next to you on an empty train is someone you know, it won’t bother you. However, when a stranger sits next to you, you feel uncomfortable and think, “Huh? There are other seats available, too.”

The same goes for psychological distance in human relationships. It may not be hard to listen to your concerns for a long time when your best friend asks you for advice, but it can be a bit difficult when a co-worker you barely know asks you to vent your concerns for a long time.

We applied the pleasure and displeasure of psychological distance to love and categorized it into 12 “desired positions.”

What are the “12 positions” he wants from you?

1st position: It has to be this woman! unique existence
Second position: I want to get married!
3rd position: I want to date and I don’t mind getting married.
4th position: I want to date, but I don’t want to get married right away.
5th position: I want to date, but I don’t want to get married.
6th position: I don’t mind dating, but it’s not a must.
7th position: I really want to have a physical relationship, but I don’t want to date.
8th position: I would like to have a physical relationship if possible, but I don’t want to date.
9th position: It would be nice to have a physical relationship, but it’s not an option.
10th position: I want you to love me, but I don’t want to have a physical relationship with you.
11th position: Not particularly conscious
12th position: don’t want to be liked

His “want to date” and “want to have a physical relationship” are two different things. In Chapter 1, we divided the positions he wants you into into 12 categories. For example, 10 is “I just want to be liked,” 7 is” I just want to have a physical relationship,” and 5 is “I just want to date.” Many women fall into this category.

Once you know exactly where he wants you to be, it will be easier to understand his ambiguous behavior. “He acts in a suggestive manner because he wants to be popular and be liked by me, but he doesn’t ask me out because he doesn’t want to go out with me.” “He wants to have a physical relationship with me, but I’m in a position where he doesn’t want to go out with me, so when I ask him, “Are you dating?”, he ignores it. Unlike me, he says that wanting a physical relationship = wanting to go out with him, right?”

You are very curious about where he wants you to be and what he thinks about you. Therefore, we have prepared a check sheet for easy diagnosis.

Where does he want you to be? “12 position diagnosis”

1st position ▶ It has to be this woman! unique existence

They started dating after he confessed to her. Or you have been dating for more than a year. You feel that the relationship is going well. He will actively try to move towards marriage even if you don’t rush. It involves actions such as greeting one’s parents, proposing a marriage, and giving a ring. He thinks that you are the only one, that he can be happy because of you, and that he would not be able to live if he lost you.

2nd position ▶ I want to get married!

3rd position ▶ I want to date and I don’t mind getting married.

They started dating after he confessed to her. Or you have been dating for more than a year. You feel that the relationship is going well. He doesn’t mind when you talk about marriage and the future, and if you say you want to go see a ring, he’ll go, and if you try to set a date to greet your parents, he’ll agree. However, he does not actively move towards marriage, nor does he propose any arrangements.

4th position ▶ I want to date, but I don’t want to get married right away

They started dating after he confessed to her. Or you have been dating for more than a year. About half of the dates I go on are invitations from him. Occasionally, they talk about their future, such as, “When I have children, I want to get a dog, right?” but they never develop into concrete discussions about marriage. There are some comments such as “I want to study abroad” and “Maybe I’ll move here next” that give the impression that he won’t be married for the next three years, at least in his future plans.

5th position ▶ I want to date, but I don’t want to get married.

They started dating after he confessed to her. Or you have been dating for more than a year. He has never talked about marriage. Or, if you bring up the topic of marriage, they will be hesitant, or they will make negative comments about marriage, such as, “My parents didn’t get along so I have a bad impression of marriage,” or “I don’t understand the merits of marriage.”

6th position ▶ I don’t mind dating, but it’s not a must.

The relationship started with you urging him to decide whether or not to date. Or, you haven’t started dating yet, but you’ve continued dating at his invitation, and you’ve met more than 8 times in the last 3 months, but he hasn’t confessed to you.

7th position ▶ I really want to have a physical relationship, but I don’t want to date.

He invites me to meet him. I will spare no effort to please you. Try to create a flow of physical relationship with you. He has told me that he loves me, but he has never talked about dating me. I’ve been told things that seemed plausible even though we weren’t dating but had a physical relationship. There have been at least 4 times when I was asked to have a physical relationship and I refused. Or have had physical relations four or more times.

8th position ▶ I would like to have a physical relationship if possible, but I don’t want to date.

He invites me to meet him. Behave in a kind and suggestive manner. He hasn’t confessed to me, and he hasn’t talked about dating or anything like that. I’ve been told things like, “I’ll join you because of our physical compatibility” and “I’ve never confessed my feelings to you before we started dating,” which seem plausible when it comes to having a physical relationship without dating. No more than 3 times have I refused a physical relationship. Or have had physical contact three or fewer times.

9th position ▶ I would be happy if we could have a physical relationship, but it’s not an option.

If you invite him, the two of you can meet. Sometimes he invites me out to dinner. Behave in a kind and suggestive manner. I’ve tried to have a physical relationship with him several times, but it hasn’t happened. I’ve been told things like “I’m in a relationship based on physical compatibility” and “I’ve never started a relationship by confessing my feelings,” which seem plausible when it comes to having a physical relationship without dating. They have met more than 8 times over 3 months, but they have not confessed to each other.

10th position ▶ I want you to love me, but I don’t want to have a physical relationship with you.

If you invite him, the two of you can meet. Sometimes he invites me out to dinner. He sometimes has kind words and demeanor, but he doesn’t try to have a physical relationship with her.

11th position ▶ Not particularly conscious

If you contact him, he will reply. If you invite him, sometimes the two of you can meet up together. However, I have never met him because of his invitation. It’s fun to meet you and will help you if you are in trouble.

12th position ▶ I don’t want to be liked

Even if you invite him out, he will refuse or avoid you. Even though we can all go out to eat or drink together, we never go out alone. It doesn’t seem like he likes himself.

The above can be broken down into broad categories as follows:

1st to 3rd position: I want to get married 💖💖💖💖
4th to 6th position: I want to date but I don’t want to get married 💖💖💖
7th to 9th position: I want to have a physical relationship, but I don’t want to date 💖💖
Position 10-11: Want to be liked but don’t want to have a physical relationship 💖
12th position: I don’t want to be liked 💔

How was it? There is no need to worry about knowing the exact location. First of all, it is important to know the approximate current position that he wants you to be in. Once you know the approximate location, you can plan your next strategy. And don’t get discouraged if “the position he wants you to be” is further away than you expected. This is because “position” is not fixed, but fluctuates. Depending on your efforts and actions, it is possible to get closer little by little.

It doesn’t have to be a strict number of dates or physical relationships, whether it’s 3, 4, or 8 times. This is because each condition and background is different. Even if you say “8 dates”, there is a difference between “8 dates in 2 months” and “8 dates in 1 year”. We have included specific numbers to help you make the diagnosis as easily as possible, but please use this as a guideline only.

What’s important is his point of view

Your wish is to be happy with him, to be as close as possible to where he wants you to be. So what should we do to achieve this? The most important thing to consider is, “How can he get you closer to where he wants you to be?”

How can he want to date you? How can he want to marry you? How could he decide to marry you and not anyone else? Everything is from his point of view. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to think from your own perspective and worry about things like “I want to date him,” “I want to marry him,” and “this is how I want to be with him.”

However, in order to achieve the kind of relationship you want from him, you have no choice but to get him closer to the position you desire. In the next chapter 2, I will tell you the rules to get him closer to the position he wants you to be.

– 2 examples to understand “the position he wants you to be”

Example of Mr. A: Why doesn’t he want to date?

I have had physical relations with him several times. He often contacts me, and he always asks me out on dates. Every time I meet them, they say “I love you” or “I wanted to meet you.” However, when I asked her, “We’re lovers, right?” she said, “I don’t really understand what it means to be in a relationship,” and “It’s no different from dating,” and she clearly refuses to admit that we’re lovers. Why?

This can be explained by “the position he wants you to be in”. The position he wants from Mr. A is [Position 7]: He really wants to have a physical relationship, but he doesn’t want to date. He doesn’t want Mr. A to get close to him until he starts dating him [position 4 or 5]. He doesn’t want to go out with Mr. A because he feels uncomfortable if he gets any closer than this. He wants to have a physical relationship with Mr. A and is satisfied with the current state of having a physical relationship. But when it comes to dating, I’m hesitant. The truth is, “I want to stay in [position 7].”

Mr. B’s example: Is this true? I don’t understand what he’s thinking!

He works at the same place as me, so he often helps me when I’m in trouble. I’ve never been turned down for advice, and he only talks to me about his private family matters. He always sits next to me at drinking parties, and sometimes I feel like he’s being suggestive, such as when he has the same hairstyle as my favorite celebrity. I thought he was interested in me, so I asked him out and we went out to dinner, but he hasn’t invited me out for dinner or a date. Does he not like me?

The position he wants for Mr. B is [Position 10]: He wants her to like him, but he doesn’t want to have a physical relationship with her. I don’t want to have a physical relationship closer than that [7 or 8 position]. She doesn’t ask him out because she gets uncomfortable if he gets closer than she wants. But when Mr. B is a little far away, I want him to fall in love with me, so I act suggestive. He wants to be liked by Mr. B as a man, and he feels that Mr. B is a desirable person, or perhaps he is a colleague with whom he wants to get along. However, I don’t really want to develop a romantic relationship with Mr. B.

Did you somehow get a feel for the “desired position”?

– What to do when you’re feeling sad

When I’m at work, when I’m with friends, or when I’m alone, I just think about him, and it’s painful. I can’t sleep, and I can’t even swallow food. Is there any way to make it even a little easier?

I totally understand!

But if you worry about him and have trouble sleeping, and if that continues for a long time, your body and mind will no longer be able to survive. Please try to put your mind at ease by using the methods that I will tell you from now on.

When I think about him and it hurts…

STEP1: “No! I was thinking about him again,” you realize.

STEP2: Try saying something out loud for a few minutes. It can be a multiplication table, or it can be a reading of a novel. If you’re at work, it’s a good idea to read emails and documents aloud. The voice volume is normal and OK. If you’re working, it’s okay to have a very low voice. It’s important to say something out loud! Humans are wired to be unable to think of anything else while talking about something. Try thinking about him while reciting your multiplication table. hey? Isn’t it difficult to do it at the same time?

STEP3: Once you’ve calmed down a little, try thinking about something other than him without saying it out loud. Anything you like or have an interest in is fine. For example, if you love cooking, you keep thinking of recipes you want to try. If you’re at work, focus on your work. (*Warning… It’s easier to think about him when you’re doing something passive, so try to avoid it. For example, watch TV, listen to music, etc.)

STEP4: Before I knew it, I was thinking about him again…and I immediately returned to STEP 1. Let’s just repeat this step. It might be hard to do well at first, and you might find yourself thinking about him again soon. But if you keep doing this, you’ll be able to gradually increase the amount of time you spend without thinking about him, whereas at first he would pull you back into your thoughts after just a few minutes.

Once you feel better, get some sleep, eat, and feel better, let’s do what we can to have a “happy love life” with him.

Chapter 2: Rules for getting closer to “the position he wants you to be”

Rules to bring you closer to “the position he wants you to be”

The main premise is that “the position he wants you to be in” will only shrink little by little. It rarely happens that one day, someone who was not romantically interested in you suddenly wants to marry you. However, sadly, it often happens that “the position he wants you to be” suddenly moves away from you. Even if the two of you were in love until yesterday, the moment you do something that he considers “absolutely unforgivable,” he will start thinking, “I don’t want to see you again,” and you’ll end up in a position where he doesn’t want you to like him.

“The position he wants you to be in” changes daily. Imagine that a month ago you were thinking, “I don’t want to go out with you,” but lately you’re thinking, “Maybe it’s okay to go out with you.” It’s always a wavering situation. So, what can you do to get him closer to the position he wants you to be?

There are three important rules.

Become a woman who is a little further away than “the position he wants you to be”
adjust to his sense of time
align with his values

I will tell you about each in detail.

Rule 1: Become a woman who is a little further away than “the position he wants you to be”

What’s important to understand about love profiling is the idea of his “desired position.” He has his own “desired position” for you, from where he wants to get married to where he doesn’t want you to like him. If you are a little further away than his “desired position”, he will become more interested in you and want to get closer to you. If you are closer than his “desired” position, he will become uncomfortable and lose interest. Also, the difficult thing is that even if you are exactly where he wants him to be, he will feel at ease and lose interest.

For example, imagine a situation where a close colleague confesses to you that you have no romantic feelings for. Don’t you feel awkward because you feel guilty about not reciprocating his feelings, and don’t you feel reluctant to stay on good terms with him and want to leave him? In this way, when someone approaches you closer than you would like, you feel the urge to run away from them.

On the other hand, if you are a little far away, he will become more interested in you and want you to come closer, which is the nature of the position he wants you to be in. It often takes a while for him to want to move closer to you, but it’s important to keep contact with him consistently without changing your stance.

If you are a little further away than he wants you to be, he won’t feel any pressure to get married or start dating. By spending time pretending to be a woman who is a little more distant than he would like, his impression of you will change, and his words and actions will slowly begin to change. A sign of change is that his attitude gradually becomes more friendly or that he approaches you.

So, how should you behave in a way that will make him feel like you’re a bit far away and want him to get closer to you? I will explain the specific method in detail in Chapter 4 and in the column.

Note

There are cases where a woman confesses her love to him and it works out, but these are rare cases. This is a case where he originally wanted to date the woman or thought it might be okay to date her, or when he started dating she was so comfortable that his feelings for her suddenly increased.

Cases where no change occurs even though you are a little further away than you want

Even if you are further away than he wants you to be, there may be no change in the following cases:

If there are circumstances such as he has children or debts, and he cannot get you closer to where you want him to be. If his circumstances change, his position may change. Provide comfort and wait for the situation to change.
If you are currently in a “position where you don’t want to be liked” or “a position where you are not particularly conscious of it.” No matter how far you go, “the position he wants you to be” may not change. In that case, first try to improve your appearance or take other steps to make yourself a little closer to his love interest.
If you cannot be a lover due to physical relationship, or if you are a lover but do not proceed to marriage. Sometimes it’s best for you to suddenly move far away from him.

Rule 2: Adjust to his sense of time.

The sense of time that I’m talking about here is that each person has a different way of feeling time, and the length of time it takes for him and you to want to meet up is different. If you keep meeting at a pace faster than his sense of time, he will want to push you away.

To help you understand how he feels, let’s use a food analogy. Imagine that you think “three meals a day” is enough, but you keep being forced to eat once every three hours. No matter how much your favorite dish is on the menu, if the rice is brought to you before you’re hungry, you’ll want to give your stomach a break.

Similarly, if you continue to meet him at a pace faster than his sense of time, the date will arrive before he even thinks he wants to meet you. If this situation continues, he may start to feel like, “I’ve been wanting to be alone a lot lately,” or “I don’t enjoy spending time with you as much as I used to.” What’s more, you’re more likely to start thinking, “Maybe I’ve lost interest in her already.”

Easy way to know how much time he has for you

So how can we find out about his sense of time? Actually, the method is very simple. It’s as simple as being passive and responding only after he asks. Don’t ask him, “When can we meet next time?” or actively contact him. Instead, just meet him when he says he wants to meet, and respond when he contacts you.

Only by being passive,

How often does he want to see you now?
How often does he want to contact you?

You can understand his sense of time. If you do contact him, try to do it at a slower pace than his sense of time.

The sense of time is short during the lovey-dovey period, but becomes longer as the relationship settles down.

The first three months of dating are the lovey-dovey phase. During this period, he has an extremely short sense of time, saying things like “I want to see him even if I have to force myself” and “I’m always worried about him.” At that time, he must have really wanted to meet Mame. During the lovey-dovey stage, I honestly expressed my feelings without thinking, “Will my desire to see each other still be the same in six months or a year?” However, once the lovey-dovey period passes, the sense of time becomes longer. If you thought of your boyfriend during the lovey-dovey period as “this is who he really is” and “this pace is bound to continue,” you may start to worry as his sense of time changes after 3 months and wonder, “Has he lost interest in me?” “Does he want to break up?” However, this is usually because the lovey-dovey period has passed and the relationship has calmed down. If you think “he seems cold to me lately” or “maybe he’s changed from before,” check how long it’s been since you started dating. If it’s been 3 to 6 months, it’s likely that the relationship between the two has calmed down, so there’s no need to worry. After six months of dating or having a physical relationship, his sense of time becomes normal. His sense of time changes depending on the circumstances surrounding him. The pace at which he wants to see you is not constant. For example, this may change when you are involved in interpersonal troubles, make a big mistake at work, or are studying for a qualification exam. Continue to observe the situation surrounding him so that you can interact with him according to his base.

Example 1: Change in his circumstances.

He usually invites me to meet him about once a week. However, we haven’t seen each other for two weeks now, and we don’t even have plans for our next date. He loves snowboarding, but we rarely see each other in the winter. Once the snowboarding period is over, I will return to my usual base.

Example 2: He used to contact me every day.

For the past few days, the pace of responses has slowed down considerably. When you enter a busy period at work, it may take longer for someone to want to contact you. If his desire to meet you suddenly slows down, you may start to worry, wondering if he’s found someone else he likes or if he’s already cold to me. Of course, we cannot deny that possibility, but as in the previous example, it is also very possible that his own circumstances may change. In the next Chapter 3, I will explain in detail about “Rule 3: Be close to his values.”

What is the behavior of a woman who is a little further than “the position he wants you to be”?

I’ve learned that if I’m a little further away than he wants me to be, he’ll become more interested in me and want me to come closer, but how exactly should I behave?

If you don’t know the image, it’s difficult to “act as you want”. I’ll give you some examples to help you imagine the behavior of a woman who is a little far away.

the position he wants you to be in

5th: I want to date, but I don’t want to get married.

If he wants to date me, I think it’s okay. I’m not attached to him. *Stance you should take if you are not in a hurry to get married

I don’t mind dating a 6th person, but it’s not a must.

I think he’s a wonderful man, but I’m not attached to him at all. Something along the lines of, “If he asks me to date, I might seriously consider it.”

7th: I really want to have a physical relationship, but I don’t want to date.

I like him as a man, but I’m not attached to him at all. I don’t want to have a physical relationship with him unless he really wants to date me.

8th I would like to have a physical relationship if possible, but I don’t want to date.

I like him as a man, but I’m not thinking of dating him, and I’m not attached to him.

I would be happy if we could have a 9th body relationship, but it’s not an option.

I like him as a person, but I don’t think of him as a member of the opposite sex.

Did you get a little image? It often takes a while before he wants to have you close. It is important to stay consistent and maintain your stance!

Depending on his situation and nature, you will need to adjust the type of woman you want to become. For example, if you want to move towards marriage from [position 4 or 5], the marriage pressure strategy on page 111 is effective. If you are aiming for a lover because of a convenient relationship, the free strategy on page 115 is effective. During these two operations, you will need to stay where he wants you to be, rather than staying a little far away, and provide a sense of security and comfort for a certain period of time.

Rewrite the sentences below using the same number of characters. Chapter 3: How to become his special woman ζ [Value analysis Get a strategy article just for him! What is values analysis? In this chapter, I will tell you more about Shuichi, who wants to bring you closer to “the position he wants you to be.” Each person has a different set of values regarding what they value and what they think is right. What may be as natural as air to you may be different to him. This is precisely why it is important to analyze your values. If you are able to behave in a way that aligns with his values and views through value analysis, he will feel that he is interested in you and will want to be closer to you in terms of what he wants from you. 052 On the other hand, if you are unable to analyze his values, your efforts will have the opposite effect, as in the following example. Example: He is enthusiastic about his work. What she was looking for in a lover was “to accommodate her busy schedule.” However, she believed that she should decline invitations for last-minute dates, and she refused most of his invitations. Then, he rejected me and said, “I want you to understand my work and support me. If I want to be treated with respect, our values don’t match.” Knowing his values correctly is the same as getting a strategy article just for him. Try to understand his values by creating a strategy guide just for him. There are no such things as boyfriends or husbands. See him for who he is. The important thing is to see him for who he is, rather than seeing him in terms of his role as a boyfriend or husband. Why shouldn’t you see him in terms of his role? Actually, when I was listening to music, I used to see him in terms of his role, thinking, “He’s my boyfriend, so it’s natural for me to do ○○.” Instead of seeing him for who he really is, I was forcing him into my role as a “boyfriend.” As a result, I exhausted him and our relationship as lovers gradually deteriorated, our own values. Unconsciously, we tend to view people based on their roles. 054 We tend to treat others thinking things like, “It’s natural for them to do ○○ for us because they’re our parents,” or “it’s natural for us to do ○○ for them because they’re our friends.” Viewing people based on their roles can lead to the other person’s values being underestimated and the relationship worsening. Igashi: It’s the same as disrespecting someone. It is important to interact with him with a strong awareness that you should look at him for who he is, not his role, to hurt him.

Chapter 3: Value analysis to become his special woman

Get his own strategy article! What is values analysis?

In this chapter, I will explain in detail the value analysis that will help you get closer to “the position he wants you to be.” Each person has a different sense of what they value and what they think is right. What may be obvious to you may be different to him, so it is important to analyze his values.

If you are able to behave in a way that aligns with his values through value analysis, he will feel that you get along well with him, and he will want to move closer to where you want him to be. On the other hand, if you are unable to analyze his values, your efforts will have the opposite effect, as in the following example.

Example: He is enthusiastic about his work. What she wanted from her boyfriend was “to accommodate her busy schedule.” However, she believed that “I should refuse last-minute invitations,” and almost always refused his invitations. Then, he rejected me and said, “I want you to understand my work and support me. Our values don’t match.”

Knowing his values correctly is the same as getting a strategy article just for him. Let’s try to understand his values by creating a strategy guide just for him.

Boyfriends and husbands don’t exist. see him for himself

It is important to see him for who he is, rather than seeing him in his role as a boyfriend or husband. Why shouldn’t it be seen in roles? In fact, I started looking at him based on his role, thinking, “Since he’s my boyfriend, it’s natural for me to do ○○.” Instead of seeing him for who he really is, he was forcing himself on him as a “boyfriend” role. As a result, I exhausted him and our relationship as a lover gradually deteriorated.

Unconsciously, we tend to view people based on their roles. It’s easy to approach someone thinking things like, “It’s natural for them to do this for you because they’re your parents,” or “it’s natural for them to do this for you because they’re your friend.” Viewing people based on their roles is the same as disrespecting the other person’s values. This can lead to hurting the other person and worsening the relationship. It is important to interact with him with a strong awareness of seeing him for who he is, not just his role.

Rule 3: Be close to his values

What can you do to make him think, “You’re the most comfortable woman!” or “This is the first time I’ve met a woman you get along with like this!” It may seem difficult, but the rules are simple. It’s about empathizing with his values and continuing to act in a way that is in line with his values.

In order for him to think of you as a woman with the best values, it is important that you empathize with his values, continue to stand by him, and do not say or act in a way that negates his values. Why is it important to empathize with his values and continue to act in a way that is in line with his values?

On a daily basis, we are exposed to a lot of information unconsciously. The more you align with his values, which he feels are “good” and “nice,” the more he will think of you as someone who is on his side and understands you, and the more comfortable you will feel. You’ll start to think that being with you is more fun and enjoyable than being with any other woman.

So how should we proceed? I’ll give you a specific example.

Example: If his values are “Live shows are the purpose of life, and even if I’m busy, I just want to go to live shows.”

What you should do: Of course, respect his values, but as much as possible, agree with him by saying, “I’ve come to love live shows because of his influence.” If you’re a fan of live shows, act like “going to live shows is even more fun when you’re with him,” and increase the number of things you have in common by going to live shows with him, going to live shows by yourself, and keeping an eye out for live shows that he might be interested in. From his point of view, behave in a way that makes you think, “This girl and I really have the same values.”

Bad behavior you should avoid: For example, blaming him or denying him when he makes a lifestyle or choice that revolves around live concerts, such as, “Is it okay to make money if you go to so many concerts?” “It’s more fun to play with ○○ and △△ instead of just going to live shows,” and “I’d rather meet just the two of us than live shows.”

Example: If his most important value is “I really hate being tied down.”

What you should do: “I understand. It’s really hard to be tied down, isn’t it?” Empathize with his feelings and agree with him. If possible, include a short anecdote so that it doesn’t seem like you’re just superficially matching. For example, you might say something like, “I know because my ex-boyfriend scolded me and told me not to go to company drinking parties, and it was painful for me too.”

Bad behavior you should avoid: restraining him or denying his values. “Why did you meet with a woman alone?” “Please contact me every day” “Call me after the drinking party” “It’s proof that not wanting to be tied down can be a bad thing.” Even if it’s not about the boyfriend himself, it’s also considered bad behavior to watch the news and say something like, “This celebrity has a girlfriend, but he goes out with a woman, so I feel sorry for his girlfriend,” or about an acquaintance, “He has a girlfriend, but why would he drink alone with a woman?”

In addition, you need to be especially careful if you are emphasizing values such as “cheating is absolutely unacceptable” due to pain and suffering from past relationships. When she senses that you are a woman who is likely to do something like that, she immediately becomes wary. Points that are susceptible to pain and suffering may feel “cold” even with the slightest stimulation. There are times when someone suddenly becomes no longer a romantic partner, saying, “I can’t marry you” or “I don’t want to see you anymore.” Even if you have cheated on him in the past, it is important not to reveal it and to act in a way that does not make him think that you are cheating on him at all.

How to proceed with values analysis

Now, let’s actually proceed with the analysis of his values. If you’re thinking, “Analysis seems kind of difficult…” don’t worry. By going one step at a time, starting with the easiest things to tackle, you will definitely be able to see the values that he values. Let’s work together to understand his values so that the man you love wants to be closer to you.

Points to note when proceeding with value analysis

Until you understand his values, adapt to the world’s way of thinking. For example, if there are things that the world thinks are good, such as “keep your promises,” “be polite,” and “don’t be late,” try to stick to them.

Refrain from asserting yourself until you understand his values. While it is important to improve your appearance in a relationship, until you understand his values, refrain from spending too much money or wearing unusual clothes. As for his hobbies, until I don’t know if he’s an outdoor or indoor person, I approach him with the attitude that he enjoys both. From what you understand, gradually adjust to his values.

It is also best to refrain from making negative comments. For example, if you say something like, “Adults who are addicted to children’s anime are disgusting,” even if he likes that anime, he won’t be able to say it, and you’ll think, “I don’t get along with this girl…” and you’ll be pushed away.

His values change over time and depending on the situation. For example, he may say, “I don’t care if my friend is drunk and making noise, but I absolutely hate it if my lover has a bad drinking habit. ”His values also change depending on where he wants to be. Also, during the lovey-dovey period before you start dating or immediately after becoming a lover, it is difficult to see his true values. After you have been in a relationship for more than half a year, consider that he is your true boyfriend and continue to analyze him.

①Things that I absolutely cannot forgive/things that I would hate to see happen

If you do something that he feels he can never forgive or that he doesn’t want to do, you’ll quickly move further away from where he wants you to be. It’s difficult to recover once you’re no longer a romantic interest, so start by analyzing the values that he thinks he “will never forgive” and “doesn’t want to be treated like this.”

Things you didn’t like when you were in a relationship What’s something you didn’t like when you were in a relationship? What is it that you feel you can never forgive?

What do you dislike when someone does something to you outside of love? What do you dislike about work? What was something a friend did to you that made you sad or didn’t like it?

Once you’ve asked questions like these to find out what behaviors he dislikes, dislikes, or can’t tolerate, move on to the next step.

② Views on love and marriage

What does he value in a relationship? Things that made me happy so far About dating and marriage Past love history

If he tells you something like this, try to be a good listener and try to liven up the conversation. If there is a time when you can weave in a story like this in your daily casual conversations, it’s okay to ask from you. However, there are some questions that you should not ask. That’s a straightforward question: “What kind of women do you like?” This question is not recommended for three reasons:

Reason 1: If you have a crush on him, you need to be especially careful. If he becomes convinced that you want to be closer to him than he wants you to be, he may push you away.

Reason 2: I’m not saying for certain that he’ll lie, but there’s a good chance he’ll give you a bland answer. I think it’s easier to understand if you imagine it from the opposite perspective. For example, let’s say you think “I want a high income” or “I want a good-looking guy.” However, if you are asked at a meeting place, “What kind of men do you like?”, you won’t answer, “I’d like a good-looking guy with a high income.” You probably answer something like, “I like kind and sincere people,” to avoid giving a bad impression. The same goes for him. When it comes to things that we are afraid to say openly, we often hide our true feelings. For example, “She has a really cute face,” “She has to have big breasts,” and “Physical compatibility is important.” All of these things, if I’m being honest, are likely to be criticized as “terrible” and “cyte.” Unless he is very sensitive, he will not reveal his values, no matter how important they are to him.

Reason 3: He really wants a girlfriend who is kind, doesn’t get angry, and is comfortable. However, in reality, he always ends up dating women who are very cute in appearance, but who have wild emotional ups and downs and push him around. In this way, he himself is not aware of the gap between his own values and his actual actions, so even if you directly ask him about the type of woman he is, he will not be able to answer his true values.

③What I like and what I think is good

If it’s not okay to ask him directly, “What kind of women does he like?”, how can I analyze more deeply his views on love and marriage? In fact, the hints to get closer to his “special woman” are hidden among his best friends and close friends. In everyday conversation, ask him about his friends and best friends.

For example, ask questions such as, “What kind of person is Mr. ○○’s best friend?” “How does Mr. ○○ spend most of his time with his friends?” ” Can you tell us any memorable stories you have with your best friend?” It’s better to have him talk anecdotally, so you can get a sense of what he values about his best friend. Let’s analyze his values by paying attention to “his view of his best friend” and “good things about his best friend.”

Example 1: “When I’m with him, I don’t have to worry about him.” ← I feel the value of being comfortable and not having to worry about myself.

Example 2: “My best friend is a hard worker. He has been working hard on qualification exams since he was a student, and he obtained several qualifications before graduating. Even now, he is the most successful among my classmates. When I talk to him, I feel like I have to work hard too.” ← I respect and value him for being a hard worker.

Example 3: “He’s really funny, and it’s really fun to be with him. We’re always doing silly things and laughing a lot.” ← I find value in funny and fun times.

A person’s values are revealed even in the words they say casually. These values that he likes and feels comfortable with in his best friend are also connected to the values he wants in his lover. Some of you may be wondering, “But isn’t the way you look at your best friend of the same sex different from the way you look at women?” Think about your best friend. What do you like about your best friend? “You’re always kind to me when I’m having a hard time,” “There’s a lot of things I respect about you,” “I can trust you because you’re honest and never lie.” He’s your best friend, so there are many things you like about him.

If a man with all of these things appeared in front of me… You may feel like, “If such a person existed, I would want to marry him.” Values for homosexual best friends do not include things like “sexual attraction,” but other points such as “I like the good things about my best friend” often match the values we seek in a romantic relationship.

If your best friend is cheating or addicted to gambling, don’t just take his comments like “we get along well” or “interesting” as a hint to get closer to that “special woman.” Please note that these are just values such as “the fun of being able to understand each other among people of the same sex” and “it’s good to get along well with each other,” and not “I want women to cheat on me too much,” or “women who are addicted to gambling are my type.” However, there is a high possibility that his values are that he wants a woman who is tolerant of cheating and gambling.

④What do you spend your money and time on?

His values are strongly reflected in how he spends his money and time. Whether he “owns” something or, conversely, decides not to “own” it, it is an expression of his values. Bring out his values.

Start talking about his hobbies and interests, liven up the conversation with a cheerful smile, and if he doesn’t have any hobbies or is busy with work and doesn’t have a lot of time for himself, we recommend asking him questions like, “If you had free time and money, what would you do with it?” and “What do you think your ideal day would be like?” By asking him to answer these “questions that reveal his desires,” it will be easier to understand what he values.

Note

If you try to ask all the questions at once, it will become like an interrogation, so try asking them gradually, interspersing them with small talk. Also, no matter how incomprehensible you feel about values, please do not express your feelings in words or actions. If he senses your feelings and starts hiding his true feelings, you’ll lose track of his values. Try to empathize with what he’s saying and ask questions so that he can have fun talking.

Everyone has complexes. Complexes are areas that you don’t want to be touched on, so you shouldn’t ask questions. Don’t mention anything and act like you don’t care until he mentions it.

If your boyfriend confides in you about his complex, it is important to tell him that you are not concerned about it, focus on what he is good at and what he is confident in, and treat him in a caring manner. This will make it easier for him to get you closer to where he wants you to be. Let me give you a concrete example of how you should approach it.

◆In the case of a complex that is easy to understand visually

Example: He is kind and serious, but has a complex about being short.

What you should do: “I don’t care about your height at all. More than that, I think your kind and serious nature is more important and attractive to me as a person.” If you are concerned about his height, be sure to let him know.

Things you should avoid: Behaviors that arouse his complex, such as wearing high heels on a date with your boyfriend or complimenting tall celebrities or acquaintances.

In addition to being short, it’s easy to tell by appearance whether someone is fat or thin, has thinning hair, or has skin type, so be careful not to touch on them and think, “Maybe he has a complex…?”

◆In case of complex that is difficult to understand at first glance

Example: He is enthusiastic about his work, but has a complex about his low educational background.

What you should do: “I don’t care about your educational background at all. I don’t think it has anything to do with work. There are many people who just play around and do nothing even after entering university. I like you because you are passionate about your work.” If you are concerned about his academic background, be sure to let him know.

Behaviors you should avoid: Behaviors that arouse his complex, such as praising a friend or acquaintance with a high academic background or worrying about someone’s academic background.

In addition to academic background, there may be complexes that are difficult to understand by appearance, such as annual income, debt, family (religion, toxic parent, poor family), and chronic illness (physical or mental, such as taking time off from work due to depression). As long as you don’t know if he has a complex, try to avoid making negative comments or making strong claims while interacting with him.

Analyze his hidden values that you can’t understand just by asking questions

Even if you continue to analyze his values through four questions in your daily conversations, there are “hidden values” that you cannot understand or receive answers to. As I mentioned in the reason why it’s better not to ask straight questions like “What kind of women do you like?”, he often hides his true feelings.

For example, if he’s unhappy that you’re too thin, he might not express his feelings directly. Instead, they indirectly communicate their feelings by saying things like, “If you lose too much weight, your immune system will be weakened,” or by frequently trying to get you to eat something by saying, “You should eat more.” These words and actions hide his true feelings: “If she wasn’t so skinny, I’d like her even more…”

In this way, they often don’t tell you their true feelings because they don’t want to hurt you. Even if the values are important to him, he hides his true feelings. He’ll only reveal his true feelings when he realizes you share the same values, or when he feels comfortable letting you know who he is. When one or both of these conditions are met, they will tell you their true feelings.

To deeply understand his true values

“His hidden values” are intricately put together like a jigsaw puzzle, but if you carefully understand each one, you will find clues to understanding his current values. In order to deeply understand his true values, you need to observe his behavioral habits and the frequency of his comments over a long period of time. Although it is possible to tell a lie with one statement, it is difficult to tell a lie by thoroughly aligning the habits of behavior choices and the frequency of statements made.

◆Know the habits of behavioral choices

No matter what he says in words, his values are what he continues to choose through his actions. For example, even if he says, “I like to stay at home alone and get tired of being with others,” if he often goes out drinking with friends, his choice of behavior is his values. Values tend to be reflected in the choice of actions, but sometimes what he says and what he does may be different.

For example: He often says, “I don’t want to waste money. Cost performance is important. If the service is the same, I’d rather get cheaper.” I love deals and often use coupons when eating out. So far, their words and actions are consistent. However, when it comes to booking hotels and planes for a trip, they are not good at planning and preparing in advance, so they always end up making last-minute reservations, which ends up costing them money. If there is a discrepancy between what he says and what he actually does, you may get confused and think that what he says and what he does are completely different. In a situation like this, you may misjudge his values just by looking at his actions.

So how can you tell the difference?

◆Frequency of statements

In order to discern his true values, the important point is how often he speaks. Even if you can hide your true feelings in each statement depending on the situation, it is difficult to pay attention to everything you say in the long run. The more often he talks about it, the more likely it is that it is a true value that is important to him.

Once you understand his values, empathize with him and support him accordingly. Always remember that his values are reflected in every word he says. Values may change depending on the position he wants you to be in, the passage of time, and the situation. Don’t make assumptions based on just one piece of information; try to find out his current values from his daily conversations and actions. By observing not only his words but also his actions, you will deepen your understanding of him even more.

◆It is actually important to know his unimportant values.

It’s not just important to know his important values. This is because you don’t have to worry about things that he doesn’t care about. If you want to be liked by him so much that you try to do everything according to his ideals, you will get tired. The more you learn about his non-committal values, the more things you don’t have to work hard at, and the more things you can do freely. Let’s enjoy getting to know him by taking care of the important parts, but taking it easy where we can.

Examples: He doesn’t care about how you dress ← You can dress however you like He doesn’t care about how you drink alcohol ← You can choose how you drink alcohol He doesn’t care about women cooking ← You can do whatever you like about cooking

However, it is no good to suddenly take extreme action. Even if your boyfriend says, “It’s nice to be able to drink,” or “I don’t care about fashion or appearance,” if he actually gets drunk or gains a lot of weight, he might turn off. Keep an eye on him and gradually let him go.

How much should I adjust to him?

When I tell you the rule of “resonating with his values and continuing to act in a way that is friendly to him,” you may be asked, “Do I have to do everything to suit him?” In conclusion, you don’t have to do everything to suit him. However, I don’t think you need to agree with him from the beginning if you have the values that say, “It’s no exaggeration to say that this is my purpose in life, and it would be too painful to let it go.” This is because if your values are so important to you that it would be painful to let them go, it is essential that you have the understanding of the people you will be with for a long time, such as your dating partner and your marriage partner.

Examples: “Fashion is the purpose of life. If I don’t dress, my heart sinks.” “I love traveling abroad. If I don’t travel, my life feels empty.” “My boyfriend says he doesn’t want children, but I definitely want to have one.”

If you can’t let go of this one thing, you don’t have to agree to him. Because those are the values that are important to you. It would be a shame if he were to leave you because of that, but it would be better to think of a happier relationship for both of you. In other words, you need to weigh up what he likes and what your important values are, and choose the heavier option.

You may also be asked questions such as: “My ex-boyfriend dumped me, saying, “I was too impressed and wanted you to be more selfish. ”I think there are some men who don’t like being made to agree with each other.”

I assure you, I didn’t get dumped because I tried to suit him. Of course, it’s possible if you always blatantly look at his face and match his features, but if you don’t, his words aren’t true.

For example: You didn’t reach the level of fun and comfort he was looking for. You found someone else you were interested in. You started asking him to meet up with you so often that he couldn’t live up to your expectations.

He may say “too fit” because he doesn’t want to hurt you even if it’s because of something else, or because he’s not even aware of the real reason. The more natural you become, the more valuable you will become to him, so that he will think, “There’s someone we really get along with.” It’s okay to protect the values that you can’t compromise on, but other than that, try to be close to him according to his needs.

Aiming to be the one and only for him by combining “matching values”

If you feel like you don’t have the confidence to become that special woman for him, try multiplying the numbers. If you have multiple elements that he thinks “values match” with him, by combining them, you will become more rare, and he will think that “there aren’t many women with whom he gets along so well.”

Example: “I enjoy being with him” x “I’m always in a good mood” x “I can cook to some extent” x “I can clean to some extent” x “I agree with him financially” x “I have a sense of chastity” x “My appearance is within the range of his preferences” x “My hobbies match” x “I keep my promises” x “I don’t lie” x “I’m kind”

Assume that each of these applies to 65% of women (this is just an assumption). Then, it becomes 100×0.65×0.65×…(approximately 1%). In other words, if you have all these factors, you can become a valuable woman for him, one in 100.

However, you may think, “If a really cute girl shows up, you’ll go there right away, right?” Certainly, such things can happen. However, just being cute doesn’t last. Even if you can become a lover in the short term, good looks alone cannot guarantee long-term relationship or marriage. The inner side, such as the comfort that he feels, is also essential. That’s why, by multiplying the factors that make him feel “worthy” of you, you can increase your chances of being special in the long run.

10 values checkpoints

For example, what kind of values should you know about him? When I conduct love profiling, I have prepared 10 checkpoints as an example of what I ask clients, so please use them as a reference.

Points to note: When he is passionate about you, it is difficult to see his true values. This is because he wants to make a good impression on you by saying, “I want you to love me” and “I want you to think that’s the kind of person I am.” Over the long term, observe his behavioral habits and the frequency of his comments.

① “I like to take care of myself” ←→ “I like to be taken care of”

For example: I often hear stories from him of how he made someone happy, such as “I congratulated my junior on his promotion” or “I gave my parents a trip as a gift.” They are also more likely to volunteer to do things that you think would make them happy. ←There is a high possibility that the value system is “I like to take care of people.”

Example: He does things when I ask him to, but often doesn’t do things unless I ask him to. Someone said, “You’re not good at taking care of people.” I’ve heard stories of people being helped and happy because the people around them cared for them. ←There is a high possibility that he “likes to be taken care of.”

② “I want to decide my schedule in advance” ←→ “I want to decide based on my mood that day”

③ “I want to save money” ←→ “I want to spend money without holding back”

④ “I want to be alone” ←→ “I want to be with people”

⑤ “I want to spend more time on love” ←→ “Work and hobbies are important”

⑥ “I want to go out” ←→ “I want to relax at home”

⑦ “I want to have physical relations frequently” ←→ “I don’t need physical relations”

⑧“I want to express my opinion” ←→ “I want you to understand my feelings”

⑨ “I always want to be popular” ←→ “I’m not particularly conscious of being popular”

⑩ “Focus on fun and enjoyment” ←→ “Focus on calmness and healing”

There’s a good balance between them, and both episodes may be familiar to you. For example, he does a lot for others when it comes to computers and hobbies, and he takes care of people in various ways even though he doesn’t ask them to. On the other hand, they won’t plan your date or make restaurant reservations unless you ask them. If you ask someone to go here, they will take you there.

If that’s the case, you can understand that people want to be cared for in certain areas, but they also want to be taken care of in other areas. Let’s put together what we know.

◆When it comes to love profiling, “determining” is the enemy His values change over time and depending on the situation. There may be a gap between what he says and what he actually does, so don’t just look at one statement or action and assume that this is his values. Understanding is important in love profiling. Continue to analyze his values by forming a hypothesis and making observations to understand his current values correctly.

――Understanding his “inability to try hard”――

There are times when I get irritated with him. Maybe it’s because you and he have a different sense of “not trying hard.” Once you understand this, you will feel much less irritated with him than you are now. I’ll give you an example of a friend who can’t do his best.

A-chan → hungry B-chan → sleepy

Ms. 〇〇 declared, “I get irritated when I’m hungry! Even though I know I’ll suffer if I eat, I still eat. I can’t stand being hungry! I’d rather get sick than endure it!” and was feeling sick after eating moldy bread.

B-kun can’t help but feel sleepy. I fall asleep while eating. Sometimes I fall asleep while walking and almost fall down the stairs, a life-threatening struggle. Even if you willingly agree to a request, if you feel sleepy, you won’t be able to keep your promise. But that doesn’t mean you’re disrespecting your promise to me, and it doesn’t mean you don’t value me as a friend. It was just that I couldn’t work hard.

I tend to be sleepy, so I don’t really feel the need to do my best when I’m sleepy, but I’ve had several surgeries, so I’m imagining things like, “I lose consciousness instantly under anesthesia, and I can’t resist it.” If you think so, you can be convinced that it can’t be helped. You can see that the fact that you couldn’t keep your promise due to your sleepiness has absolutely nothing to do with whether you care about me or not.

Like Mr. B, it’s hard for him to do his best, to the extent that he can’t do anything about it with his willpower or guts. If you can’t do your best, you have to give up to some extent and try to be creative in dealing with it. For example, when working with a child like A who is not hungry, keep snacks on hand and ask the child, “Are you hungry?” every two hours. If you are a sleepy type, ask them to get some sleep so they don’t become sleep deprived. Let me sleep when I’m sleepy. Please make a wish after getting plenty of sleep.

There are things that each person can’t do their best.

・Forgetful person

・People who are loose with their time

・People who cannot diet

・People who cannot make plans

What kind of things does the person you like not try hard at? Instead of blaming him, saying, “If you have feelings for me, you’ll try hard,” accept that he won’t try hard, and try to think of ways to deal with him so that you can get along with his personality, and you’ll become more comfortable and understanding to him.

――The “lover filter” is dangerous because it is unconscious――

In addition to NG behavior, something you should always be aware of is the existence of a “lover filter.” The lover filter means that you see him in the role of a lover. Viewing things through a lover filter is a very dangerous act. Most people are unaware of the existence of the lover filter because it is done unconsciously.

The lover filter will have a negative impact on your behavior towards your boyfriend. You’ll end up imposing your own image of a lover on him, saying things like, “I’m your boyfriend, so it’s only natural that he treats you like this,” and you’ll end up complaining and complaining about him.

<Example> You think it’s normal to go on a date with your lover if you have the same time off. Even if you haven’t made an appointment, I think it’s good etiquette to let each other know in advance if something is coming up, and I’ve always done that. But one day, without asking you, he made plans with a friend for the holidays. Although he hadn’t arranged a date with you, you were shocked because you thought the holidays were a date. You ended up blaming him, saying, “You should have asked me for permission before making an appointment with your friend.”

This is a classic example of blaming him through the lover filter. In this way, when the lover filter is activated, you will become irritated and more likely to vent your dissatisfaction every time your boyfriend’s words or actions deviate from the image you have in mind. Before he became your lover, you would never have had unreasonable expectations or blamed him. Even after he becomes your lover, don’t look at him in the role of a lover, but instead look at him for who he is.

When you feel irritated or dissatisfied with his behavior, stop and ask yourself, “Isn’t he currently using a boyfriend filter?” For example, let’s say you haven’t received a Massage reply from him for a whole day. But what if this was a friend? You won’t feel like blaming the other person, thinking, “Why didn’t you reply quickly? Does that mean I’m not important?” You can spend time without worrying, “Maybe you’re busy, I’ll wait a little longer.” Make it a habit to remove your lover filter so that you don’t suffer from your unconscious filters.

Chapter 4: How to move his heart and win his heart

“Comfort” is important for taking love to the next stage. His love life goes through stages, and at first he wants to kiss you and have a physical relationship with you, but as you spend time together, he starts to realize what’s next. “Do you want to date or not?” If you are already in a relationship, “Do you want to get married?”

In this chapter, I will tell you specifically how to become a lover with him and how to marry him. The three important rules I’ve learned so far for getting him closer to the position he wants you to be are:

①Become a woman who is a little further away than “the position he wants you to be”

② Adjust to his sense of time

③Stay close to his values

She behaves like a woman who is a little far away, so much so that he feels like she wants him to come closer, and she understands his sense of time by being passive and responding only after he asks. If you continue to empathize with his values and behave in a way that suits him, he will feel comfortable and will unconsciously start to like you.

This comfort is very important in order to take your relationship with him to the next step. No matter where you are currently, being comfortable is essential in order to get closer to where he wants you to be. Even if you temporarily move closer to him, if you don’t feel comfortable with him, he will push you further away again.

If you have someone you enjoy being with for a long time, someone you don’t get tired of, someone you feel calm and comfortable with, you will want to spend the rest of your life with him, and you will be closer to marriage, which is where he wants you to be. How comfortable does he feel with your relationship now? First, please check the following checklist.

□Comfort check sheet

Check which of the following answers is closest to you: “Always,” “Once every two or three times we meet,” “Sometimes,” “Rarely,” and “Never.”

① Complain to your boyfriend or criticize him. Things like, “Please let me know,” and “I’m sloppy at washing the dishes and the stains aren’t coming off.”

・Always like that (0 points)